randomness.

For the past two weeks or so, I’ve been seeing more and more cardinals. Cassie tells me when she sees them on runs, or out and about. Last night I put landon to bed and sat on the couch to relax. I looked out the back door and there was a cardinal sitting on top of Landon’s trampoline cage. This same cardinal has been in the exact same spot every night for about a week.

I know she’s looking out for me, especially during this stressful IVF cycle. I’ve been talking to her at night lately; a little more than I usually do. I’m asking her to send me signs and guidance on this cycle, and life in general. I know that the next few days are going to be full of a lot of really weird choices for us so I’m trying to prepare myself for that.

I’m hoping that this cycle isn’t over for us yet and that we may have a chance still, but I’m just not sure. When you put all your information on the interwebz, it gives everyone the chance to give you their opinion on everything. It is so important to me to be informed about this cycle, and know my options, but holy shit is it overwhelming. Everyones body is different so different protocols work for different people. There are so many ways that this could go. I know SO MANY women who have gone through this, or similar and I love that they give me advice when I ask for it. They are so helpful and knowledgable; I don’t know how I would get through this process without them.

I’m trying to let go and trust my Dr, it’s just really hard.

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I bought my bridesmaid dress for my sisters wedding yesterday. I’m so excited for her, and I can’t wait to be a part of the whole thing. We have her bridal shower planned pretty much, just need to get her invites done. I will hopefully have some serious time to dedicate to this coming up soon. I also wanted to register for that 5k for stillbirth awareness and I need to find time to do that.  I feel so thinly stretched lately. ugh.

I also bought myself a necklace. d293abf634410383da960c539ade3eed

I’m so excited to get it. It’s 14kt Rose Gold, and hopefully the chain is a little stronger than the necklaces I was wearing. My amazing friends sent me a necklace with Kenley + Landon’s names on it, but the chain broke. I was so upset and took it to get fix, but they said it couldn’t be fixed as it was only rose gold plated. I knew I had to find something that would stand the test of time. I’m absolutely in love with this necklace and I can’t wait to have it near my heart.

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