better.

It amazes me what a dose of antibiotics can do for a sick kid. Landon slept through the entire night, and woke up feeling so much better. His fever is gone, and he is definitely acting like his normal self. I am so thankful because he was scaring me last night. His fever crept up to around 102.5 even after I had given him motrin and alternated with tylenol per his pediatrician. He has eaten a little bit today, and he is up playing. So happy my boy is feeling better.

Shane and I got the pool cover off this morning. It was filled with tadpoles yesterday so we used a hose as a syphon and drained the water (and tadpoles) off the cover into the yard. A chair had blown off the deck onto the cover, too. When we were finally able to see the water, it wasn’t as bad as we expected. We didn’t close it properly last year so we knew it would look pretty nasty. He’s outside hooking up the pump as we speak, and we have the hose in it in hopes that it will fill up by tomorrow. Once the filter gets going, I’m sure it won’t take took long to clear up. We bought a brand new sand filter last year, so hopefully it will make the process a lot easier than it has been the past few years with the crappy old filter we had.

We were all out on the pool deck this afternoon and Shane said that next year he’s going to start working on the pool in early May. Without thinking I said, “yeah well hopefully in April we will have a -* I acted like I was holding a baby in my arms*. I don’t know why, but I started crying almost immediately after I did that. It hurt me so much to even THINK about that. I was so excited for this summer last summer. I swam in the pool with my pregnant belly in the water, and kept telling Landon how much fun we were going to have this summer with his litter sister in the pool. To think about having a new baby, not kenley, in the pool next summer was just too much.

Its the random things now that catch me off guard. I fully expect to make an effort to not look at babies at the store, or anywhere for that matter, but I didn’t expect to be caught off guard by my own hand gesture, and thoughts of next summer.

I keep thinking about this coming Wednesday…

6 months.

It will be exactly 6 months from the day she was born.

I’m just so lonely without my girl.Β My heart hurts so much.

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