mollybear.

I was given a weighted teddy bear from a dear friend from high school. This bear weighed three pounds. In an effort to have a bear that weighed the same as Molly, I bought a shell and a package of rice. In the middle of the produce isle, I carefully weighed rice, fluff and the shell. I am sure people thought I was crazy, but I did not care. I went home and with my children and husband, we created the very first Molly Bear. For the first time in weeks, I was able to sleep holding her. It was then that I knew I had to find a way to help other angel families.

This is a snippet from the creator of the Molly Bears. Molly Bears are weighted teddy bears that are made to be the exact weight of the child you lost. They run strictly on donations, and each bear is $20. The wait list is pretty lengthy, and only opens the 30th of each month. I cannot decide if I would like one or not. 

On one hand I long to feel the weight of Kenley in my arms again; it’s something I think about on the daily. But, on the other hand I’m so scared of feeling that again. I know a bear will not take the place of my daughter, but will it help me? Will it allow me time to hold it, and enjoy what I will never be able to do again? 

Do you have a Molly Bear? If you’re just some random lurker here, and have one or know of someone who does, please share your story with me. Has this bear brought you comfort or does it magnify why you don’t have in your arms? 

•••••••••••••••••••••••
Tonight there are many many fireworks going off around us. I feel like I want to die so empty inside. It’s like every single one I hear is screaming “your daughter is dead!”, “remember that cute outfit you have hanging in her closet?”, “she will never see fireworks with you like you dreamed!”…

For you, my sweet sweet baby girl.

 I miss you every second, of every hour, of every day. 

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6 thoughts on “mollybear.

  1. Ughhhh. The Fourth of July sucks for me. Last year Matthew was alive. We had no idea he’d die 9 days later and life would never be the same.😥 I just ordered a Molly Bear. I want to have it in family photos like I’ve seen others do. I don’t think the weight will upset me but that it might be comforting. But I waited almost a year to order it. There’s no time limit, so you can always order when you feel ready if not now. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We have a Molly bear (Aria Bear) and we love it. Feeling our daughters weight again was so comforting and emotional but I’m so so thankful for this little bear. I’m actually holding our Aria bear right now – makes my arms feel slightly less empty on the hard nights like tonight.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I struggled with the same feelings wanting one but not knowing if I could handle it. I go to a support group and a girl brought one in and let everyone hold it. I immediately knew I HAD to have one. I know how long Molly bears wait it so I planned on making my own. I did some research and build a bear will help you with it if you bring in the product you want to use as a weight. (Rice, soft pellets, etc..) this also allows you to customize it a little more. I’m going this week to make mine for my James. His will be an elephant since that was what we designed his room in. Goodluck to you and prayers for peace and comfort.

    Liked by 1 person

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