joy.

I’ve been struggling to feel any sort of “joy” lately; not just surrounding this new pregnancy, but in daily life. I just feel so, I don’t know, empty? It’s like I’m here, physically, but I just don’t feel very “into” anything.

I know this feeling is depression, I’m well aware. I am on medication for this, and I can tell that it’s helping, because honestly if it wasn’t I don’t know that I would be anywhere near where I am today.

We went to therapy today (haven’t been since we found out we were pregnant). Our beta was last Wednesday- Therapy Day – so we had to cancel. When we got there today, our therapist was waiting on the edge of her seat to hear our news.

When I told her that we were indeed pregnant, she screamed out of sheer excitement for us, and she cried. SHE CRIED. Our therapist was so happy for us, IS so happy for us, that she legitimately cried tears of Joy for us.

I want to feel joy again. I hope as time goes on that I am able to.

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4 thoughts on “joy.

  1. I know after my 4th miscarriage…I couldn’t relax when I was pregnant with Brandon. So I imagine with what you have been through its going to be hard and you will keep your heart guarded. You will find your joy again….you are a fighter.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such an intense mix of emotions. You will feel joy again, those happy emotions will come. I think these emotions are hard to feel right now because your heart is doing everything it can to protect itself from being broken, and that is completely normal. Give it time.

    Liked by 1 person

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