random.

I think today is going to be a post of a bunch of random things because I can’t really think of a way to put them into an organized post…so here goes nothing.

• I’m participating in the capture your grief social media photo prompt challenge. I really enjoy writing all of my feelings out, even when they don’t make sense or come off super bitchy. I don’t mean them to come off that way, but it seems like they do. It doesn’t make me worried that they’re offending people because that’s not the point of the photo challenge, it’s to express your feelings. I think it’s very helpful for me. I didn’t think I would be able to do it, honestly. I thought that I would just cry every single day when I went to post, but I’m handling it pretty well. I’m proud of myself.

• Yesterday was my birthday. I knew it was going to suck (emotionally) strictly because it was supposed to be so different than it actually was. I was supposed to have my beautiful almost 10 month old daughter with me. I don’t really know how I expected the day to go had she been here, but she wasn’t here and it sucked- bottom line. Shane and Landon bought me flowers, and cards so that was super nice. Shane spent the day hanging our new bathroom light fixture, and installed two new dimmer switches in the house. We had a nice dinner with Landon and watched Harry Potter. It was a nice day, just a sad one.

• Landon LOVES Harry Potter. I mean, he asks to watch it every night. We are already on the Goblet of Fire. I don’t see his interest slowing down any time soon. He even asked to be Harry for halloween. My heart is so full! (We are mega HP nerds here…) After Shane and I found out we were pregnant, we took a trip to Orlando and went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It was the first place that Kenley went when she existed. I was so happy to know that she was with me then.

• I’ve spent way too much time in front of the TV the past day or so watching news about the Hurricane. I mean…like WAY too much time. I find it very interesting, honestly. I’ve been watching clips from Haiti and there are children standing next to rushing water. Uh…maybe don’t stand so close???? It gives me serious anxiety!

• This morning we got Landon up and ready for school. We watched him get on the bus, and then came back inside. When I walked in, Shane yelled “hey wanna watch tv in bed for a little bit?”. UM. YES. So we laid in bed, watched the weather channel, had breakfast in bed, and ended up falling asleep. It was such a nice relaxing morning. I do not remember the last time I felt that relaxed. I didn’t roll my ass out of bed until 12:40! It was amazing.

• Next weekend my little sister is getting married. I’m hoping to be able to head to my hometown in the middle of the week next week. We’ll see what happens with Shane’s work schedule, but it would be nice for all of us to “get away” for a little bit, even if it is going to be hectic.

• I can feel myself maybe falling back into a slump? I’m not sure exactly what it is that I’m feeling, but I have been putting off house work again, and just feeling like I want to sleep all the time. I know it very well could be the fact that I’m pregnant, but it doesn’t feel that way. I dunno. I guess I’ll just keep an eye on it. What does that even mean? I guess i’ll just wait and see how much more laundry builds up and I will equate that to how I’m feeling emotionally? Ugh.

• and last but not least…we went to Lowe’s on Wednesday while Landon was in school. We walked through the paint, and picked out a few colors for this baby’s room. We had talked about what colors we wanted to look at, so…I decided that since I have officially hit my 2nd trimester (already…) that I would look. So, there’s that.

 

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11 thoughts on “random.

  1. Lots of progress happening here, Randi. Happy birthday yesterday. I’m sorry to hear you’re slumping- grief is a rollercoaster, especially during marker-times of the year. I’m glad you are doing the photo challenge- sharing your feelings through these prompts is SO healthy. Anyone who hasn’t been through what you’ve been through will never understand the trauma you have faced- if they get upset with you for feeling and working through your pain, well they’re probably not going to be the people who are your longterm supporters. Those who read, listen, and try to understand how to be there for you are going to be the people who stay in your life. A lot of people don’t realize that a loss like this can remove so many people from your life… and we don’t realize, until our heads are somewhat above water, that a lot of people really do step up and show us how much they care.
    Keep sharing. Some of us are listening 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m also listening girl. Even if it comes off super bitchy, who cares! Your posts have been so beautiful to read honestly. They all touch my heart and come from your soul! A get away sounds nice, I hope you guys can have some fun 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your #captureyourgrief posts show your feelings, they do not come across as offensive or bitchy at all lovely. I’m so glad you managed to spend your birthday feeling okay, and you’ve been able to plan for baby’s room too that’s a massive step! I really hope you can enjoy your sisters wedding and I can’t wait to read all about it ❤❤ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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