29.

I feel like the wind was knocked out of me the other day.

It was the 29th, again, and I was without her, still.

She should have been 17 months old.

Almost a year and a half old.

What would she be doing?

Would she be running around, blabbing, and making us laugh?

What would she like toΒ eat?

Would she like to play with her Brother?

Would she love Bubble Guppies like her Brother did?

Who would I be as her Mother?

Sometimes I wish I was that woman who never lost her child.

It’s so confusing.

If Kenley was alive, Alden wouldn’t be here.

I want to be a Mother to both of them…here on Earth.

I can’t believe on June 29th I should have a year and a half old daughter.

Instead, I have an awful amount of grief and sadness from the death of her.

Instead, I’ll have a 3 month old who has given me hope again.

It will continue to be the 29th, and Kenley will continue to be gone, for the rest of my life.

I wish I could see new pictures of her.

I miss her.

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