future appointments.

I had an MFM appointment today at 11. Just a basic check up, nothing really special. I however knew I had to talk to my doctor about my increased anxiety, and fear that something is going to go wrong.

Everything looked fine, my blood pressure was beautiful and I only gained 1 lb. When my doctor came in we talked about how things were going, and how my anxiety was going. I told her that to be honest, it’s getting worse. I did tell her that we have had a long few weeks. All the Holidays, her first birthday, Alden’s baby shower, cleaning up the Nursery, and then next week it will be painted. I recognize those things are triggers obviously, so I told her I wasn’t sure if it was everything happening at once, or if I’m really just feeling anxious about getting this baby here alive.

She told me that we can up my medication, but after checking we determined that I’m on the highest dose safe for baby. She then told me that after my next growth ultrasound, I will be having biweekly NST’s so that sort of calmed my mind down a little.

So my next two months are going to be full of doctors appointments and I am so excited for it.

Feb 2nd- Β Fetal growth ultrasound, and a regular doctors visit

Feb 6th- NST

Feb 9th- NST

Feb 13th- NST

Feb 16th- NST & Regular Doctors Visit

Feb 20th- NST

Feb 23rd- NST

Feb 27th- NST

March 2nd- Fetal growth ultrasound and a regular doctors visit.Β 

After here we will be deciding where to go appointment wise from there. I mean, she’s scheduled to come on 3/15 so I don’t know how many appointments I will have after the March 2nd appointment.

I can’t believe how fast January is going by. It’s already the 19th…less than 2 months until my csection.

 

 

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Protein S Deficiency OR How my body is still trying to ruin things…

On Thursday, I had my anatomy scan with Dr.F, and all looked well. She was able to better explain to us the cause of Kenley’s death. It was officially decided that she died from blood clots in her umbilical cord. We sort of knew this, but as I’ve said before, when we were first told about the cause of her death we were VERY fresh in our grief. I was better able to understand it now, at almost 11 months out.

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MFM.

Today we had our dating ultrasound at the MFM office. I was so anxious, and nervous; I puked for the first time this morning, so I was going into the appointment with high hopes. When we arrived at the office, I was immediately impressed by how new it all looked. We walked in and the building was AMAZING. It was just finished in June of this year, and the whole decoration theme is that of Ohio State. Everything was just so clean and sparkly which somehow made me feel more confident in the Doctors. So lame, I know, but it’s true!

When we went back, we were put into an ultrasound room that was HUGE with a giant monitor. Once we started the scan, the tech (who was like, 23 years old MAX) was so sweet to us, and showed us everything. She told us exactly what we were looking at, and showed us the little flicker on the screen that was our girl’s heart beating away- 176 BPM. She looks like a gummy bear, and had arms and legs (although they are super tiny). The tech held the probe in one position long enough for us to see our girl dancing around. I pretty much lost it immediately. I was crying for most of the scan. It was so wonderful to see another baby with a heartbeat inside of me, growing like she should – but at the same time, it was so sad. We were given some great pictures, and told to wait for the Doctor to come in to discuss with us.

We waited for a long time, but it was totally worth it.

The Doctor came in, and I immediately fell in love with him. He answered all of our questions, and spent some serious time with us. He pulled records from Landon’s delivery and went over them with us. He informed us of all the tests he wanted to run, and that he would allow us to come back in 2 weeks for another scan. We have that scan set for 9/8. The new patient appointment is set for 9/22, at which I will meet with one of the Doctors to discuss our plan of action. At this appointment we will also have our NT scan (Nuchal Translucency Screening) as I will be 12 weeks. They also set us up for our 18 week detailed anatomy scan on 11/3. This made me extremely happy to hear- DETAILED. If you recall in one of my previous posts I discussed how our anatomy scan with Kenley was 9 minutes. I truly hope that I am at my anatomy scan with the MFM for an hour. I don’t care how long I have to be there, please just make sure my baby is ok.

Then, on 12/13 I will go in for a Fetal Echocardiogram. Can I tell you how fucking happy I am to be given all this monitoring? I mean… I’m just beyond thrilled. I know that my baby will be given THE BEST care that I can provide for her. It does hurt my heart to know that Kenley could have been given this care, and she wasn’t. That was pretty hard to deal with today, I won’t lie. I know that I did everything for Kenley that I could, but it just cuts like a knife to know that there was someone out there who could have been able to save her, maybe. I don’t know. It’s just sad.

So, bottom line is we LOVE the MFM team at Ohio State. I am throughly looking forward to going through a pregnancy with them. I know that they will take my concerns seriously, and do everything they can to bring this baby into the world screaming.

On another note, A GIANT THANK YOU to everyone who donated to the Molly Bear fundraiser. We exceeded our goal, and I have officially placed my order for my Kenley Bear!!! The bear should ship out to us within 4 weeks! This makes my heart so happy. They asked for a few specific design requests for the bear, so Shane and I thought about that for a while today. We decided to go with foxes (obviously) and her nursery colors- Coral, Yellow, and Teal. No matter what the Kenley Bear looks like, I will be so thankful for her. I’m so excited. I’m also pretty sure that when it comes I will cry pretty hard.

All in all…today was a pretty good day.